You can imperil God's destiny/calling for your life...
My foretaste of it spans 3.5 decades. That is disconcerting, sounds like sheer stupidity or deplorable situation. No closure, whatsoever!
What if... a supposition that has engulfed you, a vital component of your failed relationships and the underpinning element of every decision you had made whether they're relational, spiritual, financial and physical is the culprit? Should I just unleash the self-provoking thought that if I had not compromised my values about love, would had it given me what I thought to be right or it happened because I didn't do enough indulging, listening, and loving?
Can I also impose on other suppositions that just may be, I were and still impermeable when something is real.
My senses are telling me to say adieu and press forward but these feelings and emotions are a rummage to my soul & spirit...
Lord God, deliver me from all of these what "ifs" in my life, these are suppositions that had made me feel irrelevant, insignificant, and powerless.Let it be your blood that was shed @ the cross wash my insecurities, flaws, pride and weaknesses...Help me put my feet anchored on your Holy Word, and let my pain in solitude that has squandered my being for so long be rested on your shoulders and I pray and hope that after all these years, I see the light at the end of the tunnel shining through me!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
A Tribute To A Lifetime Friendship...
Today, you hit the real mark, a very defining landmark & a lofty momentum of your life. At 50, you are still the beloved wife, the exemplary mom, a new invigorated, ever charming grandma & the most loyal/trusted friend I can always count on as a "friend indeed"in my life.
Our friendship goes as far as we were in the third grade and through the years of "twists & turns" of events and many more challenges along our many given roles in life, we have become victorious and triumphant together. It is not the end that counts for us but the process and the means that compounded us to build our friendship stronger. Its longevity has surpassed our expectations. There is no doubt in my mind that God is a great navigator...amidst our beautiful friendship.
It's true what they say about what keeps you grounded in life...your family, your childhood friends and all the happy memories that brought you, us, as best friends.And I'm in sheer awe of your fortitude as a woman, a wife, a mother, a friend and a new grandma. I'm truly blessed that you are my best friend...
Do you remember those countless "recess" in the elementary where we buy "popsicles" and "ice candies" from street vendors and we've always chosen "macapuno" flavor for years. And whenever we had games played on the street like "shatong" & hide & seek that we were never beaten twice because we were always working together behind the scenes and in the forefront. But one of my best recollections was when we find a sturdy slack of coconut branch and we and some other classmates with us in the school grounds; went to the top of the hill and glide downhill with so much shouts of childhood cheers. At that point, we didn't really care how we were racing against them down the winding slopes... We just felt that, that was so much fun that sometimes we even skipped dinner on time. I know that your cousin Priscilla was there, Romeo Valverde, Dominador Cabrales, Renaida, Vicky were there, too.And some were just there as spectators.They could have been Norman, my brother Camilo, my cousin Venus, Ruth, Wilfredo Sion, Wilfredo Versosa, Gerardo Dupagan, Villamor Espinosa or even Charlie Rosal. I guessed, they were waiting for their turns after such an interlude.
I also remember one particular sunny day how you were so afraid of sailing in a very narrow boat (like a canoe in size) especially when half of us that boarded couldn't swim and we couldn't even paddle the ores in synchrony. I didn't tell you that my heart was racing, so scared that we will flip, plus all the food that each of us pitched-in will drown with us, too. Miraculously, that was the afternoon filled with so much delight for we eventually reached our destination where we walked to a field where stalks of rice grains & stalks of growing corns paved the way. The view from where we were all gazing was majestic, tranquil & just beautiful.
Now we know that the boat ride was an unforgettable event... These golden memories can never be paralleled to anything we've done today except of course motherhood & parenting which we both love so much and we are still here building memories for our adult children and grandchildren to inherit our bountiful blessings from God.
Thank you Lord Jesus for my best friend Shirley. She is a beacon and an inspiration to us, all that knows her well! God loves you. And A Very Happy Happy Birthday!
Our friendship goes as far as we were in the third grade and through the years of "twists & turns" of events and many more challenges along our many given roles in life, we have become victorious and triumphant together. It is not the end that counts for us but the process and the means that compounded us to build our friendship stronger. Its longevity has surpassed our expectations. There is no doubt in my mind that God is a great navigator...amidst our beautiful friendship.
It's true what they say about what keeps you grounded in life...your family, your childhood friends and all the happy memories that brought you, us, as best friends.And I'm in sheer awe of your fortitude as a woman, a wife, a mother, a friend and a new grandma. I'm truly blessed that you are my best friend...
Do you remember those countless "recess" in the elementary where we buy "popsicles" and "ice candies" from street vendors and we've always chosen "macapuno" flavor for years. And whenever we had games played on the street like "shatong" & hide & seek that we were never beaten twice because we were always working together behind the scenes and in the forefront. But one of my best recollections was when we find a sturdy slack of coconut branch and we and some other classmates with us in the school grounds; went to the top of the hill and glide downhill with so much shouts of childhood cheers. At that point, we didn't really care how we were racing against them down the winding slopes... We just felt that, that was so much fun that sometimes we even skipped dinner on time. I know that your cousin Priscilla was there, Romeo Valverde, Dominador Cabrales, Renaida, Vicky were there, too.And some were just there as spectators.They could have been Norman, my brother Camilo, my cousin Venus, Ruth, Wilfredo Sion, Wilfredo Versosa, Gerardo Dupagan, Villamor Espinosa or even Charlie Rosal. I guessed, they were waiting for their turns after such an interlude.
I also remember one particular sunny day how you were so afraid of sailing in a very narrow boat (like a canoe in size) especially when half of us that boarded couldn't swim and we couldn't even paddle the ores in synchrony. I didn't tell you that my heart was racing, so scared that we will flip, plus all the food that each of us pitched-in will drown with us, too. Miraculously, that was the afternoon filled with so much delight for we eventually reached our destination where we walked to a field where stalks of rice grains & stalks of growing corns paved the way. The view from where we were all gazing was majestic, tranquil & just beautiful.
Now we know that the boat ride was an unforgettable event... These golden memories can never be paralleled to anything we've done today except of course motherhood & parenting which we both love so much and we are still here building memories for our adult children and grandchildren to inherit our bountiful blessings from God.
Thank you Lord Jesus for my best friend Shirley. She is a beacon and an inspiration to us, all that knows her well! God loves you. And A Very Happy Happy Birthday!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
An unorthodox revelation...
How can a simple message reveal truth about what you've believed-in to be true all these years? Imagine yourself reading just a couple of sentences and these lines became uncompromising that hinges the most crucial puzzle together--about yourself that you never dared to press-in till now...
I must have been looking with different set of lenses, with a different humdrums @ heart and with a different mindset! However, I have to fully embrace this new-found truth that anyone could be thinking that love is love because all the ingredients were there..(butterflies of emotions, longevity, intellectual conversations, patience, stature, good looks, etc.) and I believed it so after all these years I was in- love with the thought of love. Somehow, I never had the courage to go against the ideal of being in-love for it became my security blanket but decades of denial, facade in different forms and disconcerting choices followed, as a result.
Thus, I have to be grateful to the one that heralded what I need to do without entreating ...
Thank you for your words. You are a good friend. I wished your words of wisdom came earlier. Be blessed & take care!
I must have been looking with different set of lenses, with a different humdrums @ heart and with a different mindset! However, I have to fully embrace this new-found truth that anyone could be thinking that love is love because all the ingredients were there..(butterflies of emotions, longevity, intellectual conversations, patience, stature, good looks, etc.) and I believed it so after all these years I was in- love with the thought of love. Somehow, I never had the courage to go against the ideal of being in-love for it became my security blanket but decades of denial, facade in different forms and disconcerting choices followed, as a result.
Thus, I have to be grateful to the one that heralded what I need to do without entreating ...
Thank you for your words. You are a good friend. I wished your words of wisdom came earlier. Be blessed & take care!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A Special Quote from Soul Space by Jerome Daley...
All I want is Your grip on my heart
All I need is Your face in mine.
All I want to do is feast my soul on You
Everyday of my life.
Just started reading this book late this afternoon @ one of my favorite "hangouts" (Hastings bookstore where I sit in a brown, very sturdy, oversized chair in the corner) After reading 3 chapters, I decided it would be a great addition for a delightful/insightful read. And who wouldn't pay for $16.99 for you to be able to retrieve one more time---the dream that catapulted you once to evoke those feelings and emotions with words that never fails to conjure love...in the most meaningful way---Reading!
Friday, October 8, 2010
A tinge of Hope...
Today is a new day...This might sound impounding to others but it's one of those mantra that helps you keep going---even just for this day. Reading daily devotionals, facebook comments & listening to music that has aged but has retained its succinctness is an added bonus that can start your gear. And our majesty, God that I put my trust will guide and see me through.
It is a fervent desire to share my thoughts, raw & uncompromising as they dance in my mind for they may only last a moment or longer than they should ...
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