"Just Freewrite..."

Here's something to ponder:

"Time was not created with the power to hold you back. And if the future terrifies you, then just take it one moment at a time."~ Raphael McManus







Just Write...

That's right. I don't have any specific topic to share tonight. My mind is racing; my heart is pounding...clamoring for 500 words. A deadline to meet each night.  I'm afraid there's a missing substance in my writing these days. You can't fully unmask or strip yourself--baring your soul unto a page before retiring to bed is a challenge.

So if you guys don't mind I'll just write what pops my mind with little scrutiny and clumsiness. I know you don't deserve reading a blog that is written in mediocrity but  with honesty.

So this morning around 11 am, I went for a jog with my fabulous dog, named Cocoa. We skipped for a week now because of the 21 Fast. I wouldn't risk jogging when my body won't be on its optimal performance. I want to do exercise; body & soul. You can't really get the adrenalin and the endorphin going in & out of your system if your body is not in 100% capacity to perform. 

Although I do a lot of mini-exercises at home like climbing up and down the stairs to do laundry, and playing with my Labs outside and in the house; doing general household chores don't compare the energy I get in walking. But anyway, just two more weeks and I'll be done with fasting and I'll be enjoying the great outdoors again.

Do you ever experience low moments in your days even when you're trying to fight and make every moment count or productive? Are there some moments and pauses in your life when what is left for you to do is just stare and think mindlessly--letting those moments pass you by with nothing to offer. This is just one of those days for me today. I felt like doing nothing so I just curled up to my bed and took a long afternoon nap. I didn't actually nap the whole time.I just stayed in bed listening to nature sounds from my radio. They're supposed to be soothing and inviting you to sleep but it didn't happen. No daydreams either. What a day I thought...

Now I'm done rationalizing what prompted me to stay in bed. I didn't even feel like reading any material in my Kindle Fire. Plain & simple; just rest my mind. I want my mind to be an empty vacuum that is free from absorbing any information. I know that's weird and the contrast for quintessential but it happens. Anyway I still have two days to recover the wonderment of time since we're off this Monday. 

After dinner which consisted of black beans with steak on it and fried "tilapia" and simmering chamomile tea, I decided to watch In Touch by Charles Stanley. On his message, I gathered that we can never experience wholeness not until you ask God to show us what's wrong with us and let Him restore us from our brokenness. We could be all sharing and preaching the Word of God but in truth, we're still in bondage of something that has never been acknowledged to be wrong. Most of the times we do pray to God for the wrong petitions  in out lives. We can't even articulate it right. 

We all are still learning...

Thank you for reading & for putting up with me...You guys take care & God Bless

"Good is Only A Decision Away..."

"At Our Worst, Good is only a decision away..."~ Raphael McManus



To those of us who had experienced life at its lowest point, we ca now look back if how we survived was a testament to our faith, weakness or both...

But before you reflect on your perspective, let me ask you if your lowest point in life is characterized by suicidal thoughts or worst, attempted to end your darkest depression, suffering & hopelessness.

If that's the case, you  have let the devil took residence in your mind, in your heart & soul. If you're not familiar with his sweet/subtle schemes, you'll fall so deep into oblivion. In 1Peter 5:8-9 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he devour: whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world."
Apostle Peter also warns us that the adversary "is stalking us like a lion, hiding in the grass, waiting for the opportunity to pounce; wants to devour us, to utterly destroy our faith in Christ. 
Also in John 8:44 says that, "Satan is a liar and the father of lies."
The Word of God tells us that.

Reading /meditating and obeying the Word of God is our greatest armor to combat temptations. There is no temptation greater than the work of the Holy Spirit in us. So if you recall how the devil made its way to stirring your thoughts, Satan's downplay on sin is on the power of choice. He will put scenarios in your head that are innately wicked but you failed to see his ulterior purpose to destroy God's plan for your life. 

What we don't seem to understand  is that the moment we give the devil an ounce to temptation, he will work from there till he becomes your stronghold. By then, you have developed a relationship of addiction; low self-esteem; irrationality will be deep-seated that you need God. We all need Him.

"We have forgotten that God's greatest gift to us is that he calls us to be pioneers: explorers of meaningful adventures." When we choose to play games with the devil we're forgetting that he is Lucifer, the one that waged war against our Almighty God. Are we really getting this that he has no good in him. He does not only represent darkness but he is darkness. He will always be in the business of putting us in bondage whether in our finances, health or family relationships. And if we don't run to God for help, God still continues to fight for us, to save us and free us from that great bondage. Let the God of redemption help you. The only One who can turn your life around for good.

Oh, that spiritual wisdom that we get only when we believe;  faith in His promises and allow Him to be our Lord and personal Savior in our lives; and the fullness of His grace is beyond our human intellect. 

Don't  be held captives of the master of the manipulator; never allow the adversary steal your blessings from God. Don't relinquish your future for a temporary "fixes" or adrenalin rush, or momentary/fleeting gratifications no matter how he allures your thoughts. 

Remember, our God is able. There is nothing too big for Him. And most of all, God is love. I'm in awe of His goodness in my life. Challenges will come but going through with life's misgivings with God, nothing weakens the faith...

Even when life is squaring you in the face, be in the look out; God's army is always by your side.
He reigns forever...


Thanks for your time and you guys take care& God Bless

"Walks' To Remember...

The "Coming to Remembrance" Walks...

One thing I know for sure is that I know I have friends for life, had friends for a due season and had friends that I wished had invested more of my time knowing them in depth. If I did that I wouldn't be remembering a good friend of mine in college with a few regrets.
 "If I knew then what I know now," without a doubt it would be revolutionary changes; major adjustments will be made. Even a complete turn-around... 

This beautiful soul's name is Chelo. Her wit was to reckon with. She could have been in every beauty pageant in the university if she wanted to, she didn't dig that kind of world. I believed she majored in BS Accounting. However, when we talk for hours, her inclinations were geared more to my passion--English Lit. 

By the way, she was the one who introduced me to a lot of walking. She was the picture of "enjoying the moment" mantra--very spontaneous. We would walk for an hour to two hours at least twice a week. 
I  still remember slender tall trees along the path; green bushy perennial plants and maybe even a deer or two seemed unaffected by our presence. That amazement of peaceful walking still renders me glorious moments every now and then. There is still that element of wonder how Chelo knew all the trails and how we always came back in one piece. As if she owned that "wilderness" in a way. One thing...we were both fearless; never crossed our minds if there were perpetrators around that very secluded area. I'm guessing, that's a part in us that is daring; unquenchable spirit of exploring the environment when we're 17. Being young and so full of energy I even thought for a long time that we were indispensable; that no one can hurt us; that we were  unstoppable reaching for our dreams. It felt like the entire universe was in sync with us; that we had the permission or the gift of life... Incredible moments. 

But there was one thing Chelo didn't fully share with me: her family. All I know was she was the only child with two loving parents. I say loving parents even I have not met yet, because she was a very loving, thoughtful, beautiful soul. And that was enough for me. No impositions on my part. Although she was very spontaneous and happy most of the times, as her good friend and confidant, I knew that there was a big gaping hole in her heart. Don't we all but to an extent; different levels of emptiness masked within?

One day we had a visitor/guest in our boarding house. (I & Chelo with two more girls sharing one room--2 bunk beds) This older man was carrying 2 bags full of food supply; may be even new clothes. He was looking for Chelo. We all thought that he could be Chelo's grandfather. My good friend knew my eyes were in deep curiosity. That night she told me that she was adopted. That revelation didn't change anything but respect for her. If it didn't bother me and the rest of us, she should be  okay, I thought. Only then I found out that she wanted to find out who her real parents were but I gathered there was no enough information to begin  her quest. That was an overwhelming missing piece in her life.
 She had also this kind of health issue that she just loses consciousness. One time her boyfriend took her to the hospital and as soon  as I knew I rushed to her side. That was my first encounter of witnessing a very dear friend in a hospital bed. She got better as that was expected of her--a fighter in every way. She wouldn't give up those walks with me. On the other hand, I was afraid this time that if something happens, I would blame myself for not saying no. Remember, cell phones didn't exist yet. Thank God, our walks prevailed unhampered.

My last memory of her was six months  after my college graduation. I came to see her in the same boarding house. We talked but it didn't feel the same. I thought half a year of not seeing her or anybody for that matter isn't that long. But then again, some things might have happened during my absence. I wonder now if she's still the same vibrant soul that loves to walk as much as I do even I'm older now... 

I tried reconnecting with her several times but I lost her. I could have done more to reach out but I guess she was that kind of friend I will always be thankful of her "walks" with me. That I am  closer to the Creator of our divine walks, "the author and finisher of our faith."

Now when I look back to those many deep walks in the forest, it was meant to be that...a journey to know more of ourselves; our path and our purpose. I hope and pray that she still commit those walks to hearty remembrance!

And wherever she is now, I will be forever grateful for our friendship. And I hope to see her in the next life...

Thanks for reading and till tomorrow.

Hugs & Blessings

"The Power of Self-Worth..."

The Power of Self-Worth...

When it seems like everybody has gone to bed at night and it's just me that is wide awake; that's when I am in tune with my thoughts. I try to discard thoughts perpetuated by prior stirrings like what I just read or heard. I just want the grace of God in control of my heart & soul especially when I'm writing. And let His presence wraps around my thoughts...

There are many things I want to write; I want to share. But sometimes what I think is not as important as what God wants to unveil in me: my self worth not only as a woman, a mom, a teacher, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a writer but as a recipient of His grace, mercy & love.

After all everything that I was, I am and my tomorrows come solely from him. I've always known that I wouldn't be near happy, content or fulfilled if I lead my life on my own without my faith of a supreme God. I guess, how I view myself , my perspective about me or my self-esteem had a lot influence of how I was brought up in a  big family of 9 siblings, mom and dad. And being the 4th child, I consider that now to be a good juxtaposition.

I remember that there was a Bible at home. Although it wasn't read to us, I know its presence there was symbolic. I just wish that I dared to read it. And I finally did at my freshman year in college. That was the first time I read it" from cover to cover." Funny to think about it now because my only reason in reading at that time was to somehow be converted from Catholicism to something more...
I even ended up going to a dormitory where the nuns enforced curfew; be at the residence not later than 8pm, seven days a week. That was why maybe, I transferred to a Bible School dormitory as my board and lodging while I still commuted to a university for a year, at least.

Who would ever know that all these easy transitions in my spiritual journey will prove to be a prelude to something I would have to call an emissary to my life? On thing that I take pride was my in-between achievements in my college years. Two of my English professors had always been so attuned and believed in me. One of them even got me a volunteer job on the nearby radio station where I did some public service announcements periodically. I was so consumed with the activities I was involved in at the university. I was a member of the University G-Clef; the Theater Guild, the Bowling tournament and I was the student governor for the Arts and Sciences department. Whenever there was a school rally, I was there, too holding a signpost for a radical change in the school system.
Oh, I was busy, content and felt needed to help others with what I can. I may have had lived frugally, but that gave me my sense of better tomorrows.

So early on, I already have established how I want to be perceived...and that continued into my first five years of teaching. The same achievements in line with what is expected of me. I never really did any illegal drugs or smoke  and drink alcohol/liquor. I could have had been easily astray or fallen hard because temptations were within my reach. Somehow I already made a decision that I'm not going to intoxicate my body. And I'm still doing it with that admonition that my body is God's temple. Although I'm not strong in other aspects of life, my views of myself since I was nine years old is a hierarchy. It didn't come easy...At times I was chasing for" silver bullets" to problems that only God can deliver me from.

I believe that in my journey of finding what makes me tick; what really moves me and what gives me joy, happiness and what makes me alive and well is the truth that God has bestowed upon me: the power of self-worth that stems from His grace.

Thanks for reading...You guys, take care always!

"The Operative Word..."

What's Your  Operative  Word Today?

After reading a guest post from Alece Ronzino,( the founder of OneWord 365), I immediately signed up for a tribe of which identifies one word that would be my operative word in my writing or in my goals. That's the way I interpreted it.

The response was overwhelming as it showed by the number of comments and the word each shared that will be conveyed on his/her/their platform. Words like; focus, gratitude, hope, peace, organize, bold, explore, fearless, and etc.
All of these entries tell me that everyone wants to be more proactive in a deeper breath of life. And for every soul involved, I say "kudos" to them for celebrating a word.

It's so funny that the first word that popped to mind is the word heartwriter.  After submitting it I actually had a change of heart. Would I want a word that I have been exhibiting in my writing or want a word that would revolutionize or more like would catapult me and my passion higher and deeper?

Could have I chosen a word that connotes a derivative action verb that will serve as directional, reinforcer and motivator? What about an adjective that would describe the totality of what you want to achieve or pursue like fearless, bold, beautiful, breathless? Or could have I chosen nouns to represent what I believe like hope, love, trust, and faith?

I actually wanted to pick a word that would stand tall even when it's all alone. A word that would extend its meaning in hierarchy; that every time it is presented to the naked eyes, the pulsation of your heart remembers everything that is worthy, beautiful and breathtaking. A word that would create a storm of soul stirrings. A word that would make you "praise everything that has breathe." A word that would make you fall in love again...and again to the same person of your heart.

What would be that word? I also thought that may be the word dimensional is worth sharing. I rationalize it as  multi-faceted qualities; something symbolic and worth-investing for. I guess, I wanted to be dimensional not to an extent but one that is confidently extending its essence and purpose. But since I did not put it out there, means it's not the word for me for this season because I'm still in recovery to maintaining a renewed mind.

I'm not settling  for the word heartwriter as my second best. That is where lies the fiber of my content in writing. How I wish I could give you the word that gives breath, width and everlasting love. Only God's Word can move mountains... I'm just His sheep.

But anyway I can never cease to dream for that word; I can still dream a new one, can't I?

Lastly, "Keep your heart with all  diligence; for from it flow, For out of it spring the issues of life."
NKJV, Proverb 4:23

God Bless. Till tomorrow

"The Stronghold of My Life..."

"God is our dependable stronghold"

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?... One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him on His temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock...Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek. Psalm 27-1, 4-5, 7-8 NIV

As we are already in the second week of the New Year (2014) Many of us are still running our race to commit to doing whatever resolutions we made for the year. The most popular resolutions perhaps on everybody's list are wiser planning on their finances; (living within their means/under your means) a leaner /healthier body; and I bet, having better relationships with family, friendships and to ourselves...

On the other hand, some may have already "fallen out of the wagon" maintaining their stance on their resolutions. I know it's hard but if you're not going to persevere and endure for your own cause and get tempted to the clutches of the ordinary, familiarity and the same scenario of your old life, then you're really stuck.
Why don't you challenge yourself to do things differently, for a change?" Make a "truce" with yourself that nothing else will keep you from doing better at life this time. Surround yourself with people that are more fierce and committed at resolving new goals. Dare to be tough and be different; you owe that to yourself. Read/listen other people's testimonies on how they went above their circumstances and became victors not victims.

Just envision yourself to have lost the desired pounds you've set to accomplish within months; that my friends is one to celebrate. When you're healthier, it's less medications that you take or you can toss them out; less visit to the doctor's office; and you gain more stamina in combatting almost anything. These are just of the few tangible rewards of a healthier you. The most important thing is that you have broken the yoke of making excuses for yourself...

And when you feel better about yourself, other areas of your life also begin to take root like in your finances and your relationships with others especially with your family. I only have one mantra on spending money: never use your credit cards as a substitute for solving your problems. Delayed gratification is always noteworthy. Buying some things you don't need or things you can live without is a better choice than having financial issues that will lead to depression; causing your relationships to suffer because of unwise purchases. We're all guilty of misspending but it's different when spending becomes an addiction. And when you're addicted, you're wired-off so dependently it's a big mess.

Oh well, we have a God of second chances...And if you dig deeper into your hearts, you'll discover that the best resolution one can make this year without a doubt I hope is the prayer of getting more understanding of how fearfully and wonderfully we are made by God. Once, we get it, there's no telling of the wisdom and His grace will be in the overflow...Then you'll know that He's with you when you're running your race, your battles, the joys of believing out of fear...

God Bless...Till tomorrow

"On Fasting..."

Fasting is Deliverance...

"Fasting is disconnecting yourself to the world; Praying is connecting yourself to God."~ Jentezen Franklin
I'm celebrating with my "Fast." Today marks the 7th day of it. My withdrawals from fasting get  easier to contain now. I know I can't do it on my own capacity if my fasting is not supported with praying; both of which are dependent of each other.

Since I haven't plugging-in with social networking; not mall/store shopping ; and even not listening or humming songs but K-Love & Air One radio stations, my hope in doing all of these with the Holy Spirit guiding me is to come out and live out the veracity of His Word; the Bible.

When you fast & pray earnestly, reading His Word and listening to a host of TBN preachers like Charles Stanley, David Jeremiah, Jentezen Franklin, James Merritt, Jack Graham, Bayless Conley, John Bradshaw and of course Joyce Meyer and John Hagee especially on Sundays and after dinner from Monday -Friday is nothing but gaining new revelations on how to cement your walk with God. That alone I think is a personal breakthrough and a joy that springs forth due to a paradigm shift.

Many would not attempt to fast, pray, read the Bible daily and steering clear from worldly stuff. And that's a very legitimate reason if you're a non-believer or not a Christian. But if you believe in Trinity, the message of the Cross, and the Holy Bible as the Word of God, I believe that 'Fasting" corporately as a church should be our first line of attack embarking on our New Year's resolutions.

With my experience in "Fasting," in the previous years, it's worth replenishing your body from the toxic, residual "messes" of our own making. We're still human after all. We all sin and when we do repeatedly for the same offense most likely (because God always allow us to go to the same battle until we really got and learn from it).Many of us settle from staying or keeping an addiction (whatever form that is) because we think God will always forgives us and we give the Lord different excuses as to why until now we're not delivered. Why can't we just accept the fact that we are proud, arrogant and stubborn so we can at least establish some grounds. From there, we can begin to glean something of importance, of value and live a life of meaning. But before that, we should be willing to do something different above what is expected of us.

For the last three years, I've been at the bottom of the barrel; been in the valley for too long. I've been hanging out for something I thought my past life was real and can have a part two or a sequel to once-revered relationship that happened three decades ago. And all this time, I've missed out on my full blessings and the prophetic vision that was laid on my spiritual life .I had allowed the devil to play games with me; putting seeds of myths on my mind that I accepted them to be true. But there's no need to glorify his dirty tricks now. I'm here now with the new mindset: to always align my heart's desires, passions and dreams with God's will for my life. It's never too late to have a clean slate by doing fasting. And I know that during fasting the atmospheric presence of God intensifies; helping and guiding you pull away from things and people; entanglements, that are keeping you distant from Him.

This is a season I give to God...and I'm depending solely on His Grace to give me the help, the direction, steps, strength in my home, in my talk and in my walk...

"There's no person so deep in sin that can't be washed by the blood of Jesus Christ; that we, sinners can be forgiven even the most defrayed of human hearts.

Thanks for reading and you take care always...Till tomorrow

God Bless