"Taking Full Responsibility for our Own Actions"

" Taking Full Responsibility For Our Actions..."

We all did it. Conscientiously... I'm talking about situations and we're rendered two choices; disobedience to do the God- thing or obedience to your carnal desires. And sometimes we even play them both squarely. In the Biblical way, that's being lukewarm that is: you're serving two masters--you're playing games with idolatry. 

For me, timing and waiting were my big proponents to understanding life after divorce. Perfect timing  was never on my side; all it seems that my mind has gathered is waiting. For all I know, I've missed pivotal cues because I was hovered with unforgiveness and blame in my heart. It doesn't bother me now to talk about it for God had delivered me from it.

Dispensation of pride inappropriately in your life makes you not see the lesson from every relationship you've been through. You rationalize until blaming the other person is the only thing left for you to do. It felt right to justify that kind on thinking when you're self-absorbed. Taking full responsibility for what needs to be done after divorce was the most challenging chapter of my life. I had to learn how to betray all the emotions raging in me; settling them in my brain. I made a pact to myself that my two sons are going to be nurtured with my love & commitment to raise them as my labor--to love & life.

I don't remember a moment that the grace of God wasn't upon me. The Lord has been and will always be my sole provider of all things that I need. The spirit of the Lord was my highest counselor when I needed His presence during parent-teacher conferences. My youngest son was the one that was affected with the perils of our divorce with his dad. He was only 9 1/2 at that time. Didn't deserve to be confused. I tell you, all the best things in me as a mother and as a human being, I gave it to that child, to both of them...
  I still remember the countless hours when I had to teach my boys how to drive. Getting their license was a breeze but driving a vehicle away from home each time poses threat to my health. Thank God Almighty, they're both excellent drivers with good records to support it.

I take courage upon God's working on my behalf. Without the support of my family and some good friends of mine, I would have lost it big time. After all, I was promised to never walk alone in this journey. Somehow I knew who I am with God in the midst of a storm and carried me  through year after year.
 "Out of sufferings, I emerged as a strong soul and  aware that many more challenges to come my way...And with the pent-up emotions I bottled somewhere in my mind had long been disintegrated. I may have shed a reservoir of tears and questions unanswered but the power of love & dedication to my children are my greatest pillar whom I draw fresh breath of inspiration. When you want to win some in this life...it better be in the full investment of bringing up your children in the eyes of the Lord. They may depart from it for a season but in the end, God's love prevails. It always does. No need to worry!

"Lord...bless me the gift of faith to be renewed and shared with others each day. Teach me to live this moment only, looking neither to the past with regret, nor the future with apprehension. let love be my aim and my life a prayer.
Let my soul take refuge...beneath the shadow of Your wings: let my heart, this sea of restless waves, find peace in you, O God, in whom I trust.

As always, thanks for reading and you guys, take care. God Bless

"My Favorite Leadership Quote..."

My Favorite Quote of Martin Luther King:

 "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." 

In my inbox reads,  "Leadership Quotes from Martin Luther King Jr. by Joseph Lalonde. It felt right & compelling to read all 25 quotes from one of the greatest leaders in the African Civil Rights Movement. I read it unhurriedly; put my heart in every word in which he expressed unmistakably good, bold & passionate. 
Thereafter, I could only wish that I was born in that era where I'm holding a sign that says," Liberty for all mankind in my left hand and another sign that says," God loves all people," in my right hand. I know that sounds petty now but in reverence to Martin Luther King's Jr. day, I find his quotes are provocative, triumphant and final. 

I have a dream...He meant that dream.  And his dream became our dream. The only difference is that, in achieving our dream... there is hesitation when faced with adversity; we give ourselves mundane excuses for not chasing our dreams; we seek for constant "push" for direction and we seem so uninspired  that we lost that unquenchable fire for standing what is truth and what really counts in our lives. 
The dream is still there but chained to the circumstances we have. We might get up from falling from everyday trappings but we don't challenge ourselves enough. With the bombastic hit of "electronic gadgets" in our lives, our critical thinking in building relationships is less admirable. We easily grow impatient and in return resort to amicable solutions. Even our conversations have become infused electronically. We also used to read every word when we read a book, an article or any reading material. Now we don't. We scan them. We just read what "hook" us, usually that happens in the first and second sentences of a paragraph. Worst, if we don't like the title, we assume the rest of the blog or a story is time consuming; in short, not worth reading. But these are premises conduit to how strong we want something done in perils of our aspirations...

As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. says in his quote, " When we become silent about things that mater, our lives begin to end." Not doing anything about something that is important life is just merely existence. We stay afloat with the dictation of what's trending, of what's hot and we better strike it while the iron is hot. So we all become statistic. I 'm furious at myself when I allow myself to be a by-product of my surroundings and not a as a result of  honorable principles and values we once upheld so high at home in our hearts. Why is that?

It irks me when a famous person says something about where he or she stands on morality, Christian family values and then retracts, modifies his/her statement the next day or a a few hours after he/she realized  that "ratings" equate money. How convenient is that for them? If that's what matters to them--maintaining their spot on magazine covers, then, they better learn how to bridle their tongue before using Facebook, Twitter or other social networks as their platform.

The bigger picture in this quote is "sounding off the alarm" not only for yourself but to the multitudes. It won't click if what you stand for reverberates a few...or just yourself. Your dream should echo how you may serve humanity and most of how all these things that are important to you are also God's vision for your life. If they are, there is no doubt  that you reflect Martin Luther King's  passion for the mountaintop.

Thanks for reading and you guys take care.
God Bless as always.  

"K-Love 30-Day Challenge"

K-Love 30-day Challenge..

This year (2014) marks my third year participating K-love 30-day challenge. Doing this--just listening to Gospel/Christian songs on K-love  is really what it is: transforming. It teaches you
self-discipline. I refrain myself from going to you tube. That's hard because I'm a big fan of soft rock, ballad , classic/instrumental, and some country music. I find time surfing the good old ones. They're so many beautiful timeless songs but for now I'm only focused to listening to K-love. 

Why subject myself to a couple of challenges at the beginning of the year? Well, I look at this
as a good partnership like my covenant experience with God. That is allowing Him to reveal
the things I need to work on with my life. When you saturate yourself with only Christian music
expect a conversion in you spirit of worship. It's not about nostalgia anymore where you
have flashes of the past and start dreaming again. I know that's a fact and I could relate to that.

There is something evidently good in listening to Christian music. They're songs of hope, faith, love and God's grace & mercy. After all he is the king of lyrics, dance and creativity. I realized 
how clever it is that we have a rainbow of colors and so much more. Our world is formed 
by the authority of His word. Look around us. We don't have to go to far to have a profound appreciation of His creativity. All of these are imbedded in the songs that K-love station plays.
They also get their listeners participate in their Q & A contest and their answers do
reflect their knowledge about the Bible and also questions about the artists/singers 
they subscribe.

The best part in participating this challenge is that it inspires me to be creative myself. 
Also it allows me to be more appreciative of the arts, and grateful for this present time.
Remember King David book of psalms...he's written all of them as a testament of his worship, faith, and love to God. 

 Some of my favorite Christian artists are Sidewalk Prophets; Michael W. Smith; Hillsong United; Tenth Avenue North;Steven Curtis Chapman, Natalie Grant, and many more. Oh there so many of them that can sing.And I'm glad that they inspire us with their songs 
of victory in Jesus. 


Another good thing about listening to K-love is that people can call at anytime 
to share their testimonies about how listening to this station have helped them and even 
have saved them from feeling isolated, lost and depressed. There were even numerous occasions where listening to K-love music have been instruments to for non-believers to come to Christ.
Or even believers that backslid in the faith and came into realization that 
God works in mysterious ways. His grace abounds in the melody, lyrics of the song and of course the artist that gave a voice, a platform to which we can all be a part of the transforming process.
That I say is more than a benefit. It's a blessing...

Thanks for reading and you guys take care.
Till tomorrow and God Bless

 



 

"Just Freewrite..."

Here's something to ponder:

"Time was not created with the power to hold you back. And if the future terrifies you, then just take it one moment at a time."~ Raphael McManus







Just Write...

That's right. I don't have any specific topic to share tonight. My mind is racing; my heart is pounding...clamoring for 500 words. A deadline to meet each night.  I'm afraid there's a missing substance in my writing these days. You can't fully unmask or strip yourself--baring your soul unto a page before retiring to bed is a challenge.

So if you guys don't mind I'll just write what pops my mind with little scrutiny and clumsiness. I know you don't deserve reading a blog that is written in mediocrity but  with honesty.

So this morning around 11 am, I went for a jog with my fabulous dog, named Cocoa. We skipped for a week now because of the 21 Fast. I wouldn't risk jogging when my body won't be on its optimal performance. I want to do exercise; body & soul. You can't really get the adrenalin and the endorphin going in & out of your system if your body is not in 100% capacity to perform. 

Although I do a lot of mini-exercises at home like climbing up and down the stairs to do laundry, and playing with my Labs outside and in the house; doing general household chores don't compare the energy I get in walking. But anyway, just two more weeks and I'll be done with fasting and I'll be enjoying the great outdoors again.

Do you ever experience low moments in your days even when you're trying to fight and make every moment count or productive? Are there some moments and pauses in your life when what is left for you to do is just stare and think mindlessly--letting those moments pass you by with nothing to offer. This is just one of those days for me today. I felt like doing nothing so I just curled up to my bed and took a long afternoon nap. I didn't actually nap the whole time.I just stayed in bed listening to nature sounds from my radio. They're supposed to be soothing and inviting you to sleep but it didn't happen. No daydreams either. What a day I thought...

Now I'm done rationalizing what prompted me to stay in bed. I didn't even feel like reading any material in my Kindle Fire. Plain & simple; just rest my mind. I want my mind to be an empty vacuum that is free from absorbing any information. I know that's weird and the contrast for quintessential but it happens. Anyway I still have two days to recover the wonderment of time since we're off this Monday. 

After dinner which consisted of black beans with steak on it and fried "tilapia" and simmering chamomile tea, I decided to watch In Touch by Charles Stanley. On his message, I gathered that we can never experience wholeness not until you ask God to show us what's wrong with us and let Him restore us from our brokenness. We could be all sharing and preaching the Word of God but in truth, we're still in bondage of something that has never been acknowledged to be wrong. Most of the times we do pray to God for the wrong petitions  in out lives. We can't even articulate it right. 

We all are still learning...

Thank you for reading & for putting up with me...You guys take care & God Bless

"Good is Only A Decision Away..."

"At Our Worst, Good is only a decision away..."~ Raphael McManus



To those of us who had experienced life at its lowest point, we ca now look back if how we survived was a testament to our faith, weakness or both...

But before you reflect on your perspective, let me ask you if your lowest point in life is characterized by suicidal thoughts or worst, attempted to end your darkest depression, suffering & hopelessness.

If that's the case, you  have let the devil took residence in your mind, in your heart & soul. If you're not familiar with his sweet/subtle schemes, you'll fall so deep into oblivion. In 1Peter 5:8-9 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he devour: whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world."
Apostle Peter also warns us that the adversary "is stalking us like a lion, hiding in the grass, waiting for the opportunity to pounce; wants to devour us, to utterly destroy our faith in Christ. 
Also in John 8:44 says that, "Satan is a liar and the father of lies."
The Word of God tells us that.

Reading /meditating and obeying the Word of God is our greatest armor to combat temptations. There is no temptation greater than the work of the Holy Spirit in us. So if you recall how the devil made its way to stirring your thoughts, Satan's downplay on sin is on the power of choice. He will put scenarios in your head that are innately wicked but you failed to see his ulterior purpose to destroy God's plan for your life. 

What we don't seem to understand  is that the moment we give the devil an ounce to temptation, he will work from there till he becomes your stronghold. By then, you have developed a relationship of addiction; low self-esteem; irrationality will be deep-seated that you need God. We all need Him.

"We have forgotten that God's greatest gift to us is that he calls us to be pioneers: explorers of meaningful adventures." When we choose to play games with the devil we're forgetting that he is Lucifer, the one that waged war against our Almighty God. Are we really getting this that he has no good in him. He does not only represent darkness but he is darkness. He will always be in the business of putting us in bondage whether in our finances, health or family relationships. And if we don't run to God for help, God still continues to fight for us, to save us and free us from that great bondage. Let the God of redemption help you. The only One who can turn your life around for good.

Oh, that spiritual wisdom that we get only when we believe;  faith in His promises and allow Him to be our Lord and personal Savior in our lives; and the fullness of His grace is beyond our human intellect. 

Don't  be held captives of the master of the manipulator; never allow the adversary steal your blessings from God. Don't relinquish your future for a temporary "fixes" or adrenalin rush, or momentary/fleeting gratifications no matter how he allures your thoughts. 

Remember, our God is able. There is nothing too big for Him. And most of all, God is love. I'm in awe of His goodness in my life. Challenges will come but going through with life's misgivings with God, nothing weakens the faith...

Even when life is squaring you in the face, be in the look out; God's army is always by your side.
He reigns forever...


Thanks for your time and you guys take care& God Bless

"Walks' To Remember...

The "Coming to Remembrance" Walks...

One thing I know for sure is that I know I have friends for life, had friends for a due season and had friends that I wished had invested more of my time knowing them in depth. If I did that I wouldn't be remembering a good friend of mine in college with a few regrets.
 "If I knew then what I know now," without a doubt it would be revolutionary changes; major adjustments will be made. Even a complete turn-around... 

This beautiful soul's name is Chelo. Her wit was to reckon with. She could have been in every beauty pageant in the university if she wanted to, she didn't dig that kind of world. I believed she majored in BS Accounting. However, when we talk for hours, her inclinations were geared more to my passion--English Lit. 

By the way, she was the one who introduced me to a lot of walking. She was the picture of "enjoying the moment" mantra--very spontaneous. We would walk for an hour to two hours at least twice a week. 
I  still remember slender tall trees along the path; green bushy perennial plants and maybe even a deer or two seemed unaffected by our presence. That amazement of peaceful walking still renders me glorious moments every now and then. There is still that element of wonder how Chelo knew all the trails and how we always came back in one piece. As if she owned that "wilderness" in a way. One thing...we were both fearless; never crossed our minds if there were perpetrators around that very secluded area. I'm guessing, that's a part in us that is daring; unquenchable spirit of exploring the environment when we're 17. Being young and so full of energy I even thought for a long time that we were indispensable; that no one can hurt us; that we were  unstoppable reaching for our dreams. It felt like the entire universe was in sync with us; that we had the permission or the gift of life... Incredible moments. 

But there was one thing Chelo didn't fully share with me: her family. All I know was she was the only child with two loving parents. I say loving parents even I have not met yet, because she was a very loving, thoughtful, beautiful soul. And that was enough for me. No impositions on my part. Although she was very spontaneous and happy most of the times, as her good friend and confidant, I knew that there was a big gaping hole in her heart. Don't we all but to an extent; different levels of emptiness masked within?

One day we had a visitor/guest in our boarding house. (I & Chelo with two more girls sharing one room--2 bunk beds) This older man was carrying 2 bags full of food supply; may be even new clothes. He was looking for Chelo. We all thought that he could be Chelo's grandfather. My good friend knew my eyes were in deep curiosity. That night she told me that she was adopted. That revelation didn't change anything but respect for her. If it didn't bother me and the rest of us, she should be  okay, I thought. Only then I found out that she wanted to find out who her real parents were but I gathered there was no enough information to begin  her quest. That was an overwhelming missing piece in her life.
 She had also this kind of health issue that she just loses consciousness. One time her boyfriend took her to the hospital and as soon  as I knew I rushed to her side. That was my first encounter of witnessing a very dear friend in a hospital bed. She got better as that was expected of her--a fighter in every way. She wouldn't give up those walks with me. On the other hand, I was afraid this time that if something happens, I would blame myself for not saying no. Remember, cell phones didn't exist yet. Thank God, our walks prevailed unhampered.

My last memory of her was six months  after my college graduation. I came to see her in the same boarding house. We talked but it didn't feel the same. I thought half a year of not seeing her or anybody for that matter isn't that long. But then again, some things might have happened during my absence. I wonder now if she's still the same vibrant soul that loves to walk as much as I do even I'm older now... 

I tried reconnecting with her several times but I lost her. I could have done more to reach out but I guess she was that kind of friend I will always be thankful of her "walks" with me. That I am  closer to the Creator of our divine walks, "the author and finisher of our faith."

Now when I look back to those many deep walks in the forest, it was meant to be that...a journey to know more of ourselves; our path and our purpose. I hope and pray that she still commit those walks to hearty remembrance!

And wherever she is now, I will be forever grateful for our friendship. And I hope to see her in the next life...

Thanks for reading and till tomorrow.

Hugs & Blessings

"The Power of Self-Worth..."

The Power of Self-Worth...

When it seems like everybody has gone to bed at night and it's just me that is wide awake; that's when I am in tune with my thoughts. I try to discard thoughts perpetuated by prior stirrings like what I just read or heard. I just want the grace of God in control of my heart & soul especially when I'm writing. And let His presence wraps around my thoughts...

There are many things I want to write; I want to share. But sometimes what I think is not as important as what God wants to unveil in me: my self worth not only as a woman, a mom, a teacher, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a writer but as a recipient of His grace, mercy & love.

After all everything that I was, I am and my tomorrows come solely from him. I've always known that I wouldn't be near happy, content or fulfilled if I lead my life on my own without my faith of a supreme God. I guess, how I view myself , my perspective about me or my self-esteem had a lot influence of how I was brought up in a  big family of 9 siblings, mom and dad. And being the 4th child, I consider that now to be a good juxtaposition.

I remember that there was a Bible at home. Although it wasn't read to us, I know its presence there was symbolic. I just wish that I dared to read it. And I finally did at my freshman year in college. That was the first time I read it" from cover to cover." Funny to think about it now because my only reason in reading at that time was to somehow be converted from Catholicism to something more...
I even ended up going to a dormitory where the nuns enforced curfew; be at the residence not later than 8pm, seven days a week. That was why maybe, I transferred to a Bible School dormitory as my board and lodging while I still commuted to a university for a year, at least.

Who would ever know that all these easy transitions in my spiritual journey will prove to be a prelude to something I would have to call an emissary to my life? On thing that I take pride was my in-between achievements in my college years. Two of my English professors had always been so attuned and believed in me. One of them even got me a volunteer job on the nearby radio station where I did some public service announcements periodically. I was so consumed with the activities I was involved in at the university. I was a member of the University G-Clef; the Theater Guild, the Bowling tournament and I was the student governor for the Arts and Sciences department. Whenever there was a school rally, I was there, too holding a signpost for a radical change in the school system.
Oh, I was busy, content and felt needed to help others with what I can. I may have had lived frugally, but that gave me my sense of better tomorrows.

So early on, I already have established how I want to be perceived...and that continued into my first five years of teaching. The same achievements in line with what is expected of me. I never really did any illegal drugs or smoke  and drink alcohol/liquor. I could have had been easily astray or fallen hard because temptations were within my reach. Somehow I already made a decision that I'm not going to intoxicate my body. And I'm still doing it with that admonition that my body is God's temple. Although I'm not strong in other aspects of life, my views of myself since I was nine years old is a hierarchy. It didn't come easy...At times I was chasing for" silver bullets" to problems that only God can deliver me from.

I believe that in my journey of finding what makes me tick; what really moves me and what gives me joy, happiness and what makes me alive and well is the truth that God has bestowed upon me: the power of self-worth that stems from His grace.

Thanks for reading...You guys, take care always!