Happy Happy Birthday, Cocoa!

It's your birthday my beautiful, wonderful, loyal, intelligent, courageous, kind, loving, quirky dog, Cocoa! You are more than a very sweet chocolate lab to me. You are my forever muse, my blessing from God. I hope that in your "doggie" mind & heart that you understand how very grateful I am to be your mom. You are an inspiration to me. My heart is in a better place because of you. You are the reason why I'm not obese. You always encourage me to go walk with you in recreation parks, by the pond, creek and even in the meadows which we love the most. I see the trees and flowers more robust & the grass greener because of your perception of them. Everything that is close to my heart you seem to recognize it. One afternoon, I was playing guitar and singing "At your Feet" by Melissa Greene version and you were asleep where I could see you so content sleeping, so I thought. But when I hit the chorus of the song, you were barking to match the melody. That moment, I knew that I will love you forever. You were about seven or eight years old at that time.
Together we've accumulated hundreds of miles walking/ jogging together for 14 years. Now you look old, frail & very sensitive. All of your faculties and so do I have been minimized to a point where we both need help. Arthritis & renal failure have savaged your health but not your mind. You still can remember your routine. You are always on time for your meals. You let me know how it's done. I remember when I forgot to shut the backyard fence gate, you let me know by running to the front door and you started barking. You know my fears. When I didn't let you play with the other dogs because some dogs are just ferocious and I needed to be right there with you, you understood. You didn't whine. You're a good dog. An extraordinary dog for all I know.
I'm getting senile too in a way but when I see your eyes full of love for me, every moment with you is the pinnacle of our unbreakable bond.
They might say she's just a dog but to me, Cocoa is better than some human beings. Some people commit the most heinous acts and have filthy mouths. Dogs, however, just want to serve you in any capacity, love you in the most meaningful way.
I love you so much Cocoa & Happy Happy 14th Birthday in Human years. Thank you to my sisters Lyn & Midred who came to celebrate Cocoa's birthday. Blessing & Tootsie, too. You guys are my biological sisters & sisters in Christ who have the most thoughtful & loving hearts for animals especially dogs and that shows. I'm forever grateful for what you've shown Cocoa, my beloved dog...Most of all I thank You Lord for blessing me Cocoa. My life has been transformed into quiet, reserved, joyous adventures in every walk I & Cocoa traversed...

"My July Snapshots"

Tootsie is "enjoying how putting her two front paws in that small body of water could be such a relief from walking with mom half a mile then go again. Pulling her out of that
scenic posture is almost a sin

Receiving a rose with your certificate of completion for a church empowered class is
noteworthy. This is one of the classes I'm proud I pursued to finish. I have learned
so much about what the Bible says about life after death.

What a lovely rose can do...Smile

Cocoa, on her feet. No hitting the ground or stumbling...
I wish that she could stay that way forever strong & courageous. 

Cocoa & Tootsie, still not getting along except when there's a fence
between them. You would think that Cocoa would be nicer now to Tootsie
now that she's sick. Nevertheless, Cocoa doesn't look like she's fighting
for her life.

Going to an evening of Embrace Women gathering @ Grace Church.
With everything going on in my life right now, there's nothing hinders me to
Praise the Lord...I come to church expecting, "that something good is about to happen."

"My Fur Ever Chocolate Lab..."

 Thanksgiving, 2015

July 2019



 Driving her to the Vet Clinic with my son Josh two weeks ago felt like an abyss...The vet said, "Sorry for the sad prognosis. Cocoa has severe arthritis with acute renal failure. I give her 6 mos. to live. Don't put her down now. Wait till the winter comes..."
The definition of sadness, grief-stricken, bottomless pit, agony, hopelessness in the Webster Dictionary does not anywhere convey or closer to how I was losing my mind, heart & soul to the bone. How am I going to gauge the right time to put her to sleep? Should I keep her longer for me till she dies naturally or should I end her misery? That is conflicting and debatable. I don't even believe in euthanasia whether in humans or in dogs. But I believe God will mutter into my heart the right thing to do.
Right now, I am focused on taking good care of her, like family hospice care. Cleaning up after her is the least I can do for all the immeasurable joys she let me experience with her. She's still eating, drinking water and still cognizant of her surroundings, home with me, Josh & Tootsie, my other lovely, wise dog.
One late afternoon, this surge of emotion to cry out loud just happened in the living room. I was circling the coffee table with my hands up high praying to God what would he want me to do in this situation. I was weeping uncontrollably. I know that she is a dog but the way she inspired me to live better is more than just coming from a furry, four-legged dog. My life evolved to endearments, blissful quietude that only Cocoa & I shared for more than 14 years.
These days, she's been sleeping a lot. She can only walk a few yards then hits the ground. It takes her about 5 to 7 minutes to regain energy so that she could walk again. I won't say she's incontinent now because I could still see that she still has the zeal in her eyes to live. I don't want to be the one to cut her life short for I will carry that thorn regrettably for the rest of my life.
I love you so much Cocoa!

The only car Cocoa had ever ridden...our car together!

Mid-Spring of 2016

FeeFeeling cozy with Cocoa after 2 miles of walk in the park, Early Summer of 2016

At Lion's Park, Early Summer of 2016

Assuring Cocoa, "Be back in 2 nights--Going to Florida

At The Pet Med, Summer of 2016

Fall, 2018

Early Summer, 2016

At the Pet Med Center waiting Area, 2017

Christmas, 2016

First Week of December 2017

My Music Video Selection for this Month, July"

One thing I know for sure is that music, a good song anyway always relieves depression even for just a moment. If what you're listening to can impact how solitude changes to a grin, a chuckle that reaches your heartstring, that is then the music of the soul...

That moment will bring you to remembrance that your scars are yours to keep. They could be a good testimony to help others fight their battles, helping you to see that you're not alone. Let that sink in you, in us. There is no greater hope that putting all your trust in the Lord.

Happy First of July!

"That Place Where You Always Come Back To..."

Oh, the waking moments in your life are the most dismal. Where you've been, how you've let things happen without a fight, just letting life goes and runs its course because it's hard to grow a hard spine on your back. The same thing happens when your dreams, goals, and hopes remain dormant because you let limited resources limit what you're able to do.

Life is hard you say...It's dry. It's cumbered with human frailties & obscurities. You don't know who to trust your heart because some people don't have it. They're harsh and rude. So we accept the unacceptable ways of people because they're human. They have unresolved childhood traumas and therefore we let their unspeakable behavior slide. They have been hit with unsurmountable ordeals that we need to understand their lifestyle. So, what's your incredible excuse why you're at the level of almost to nothingness?

I have a lot of excuses, too. I live with them not had dealt with them. I stopped envisioning good things for myself. Don't even know why. That's a great excuse or escape--denying the existence of reality because they're too overwhelming and piercing. It even makes your head spin and your heart skips a beat. What's there to look forward to? The Bible says, His new mercies are new in the morning; that you are a living miracle because you're still breathing and know Jesus. 

My thoughts may have been hijacked by perilous times that I lost my equilibrium of faith. I guessed, I never really knew what I'm made up internally; that I allow obscurities and the mundane poverty of life shackled and forbid me to live a life destined for me. I never really chased hard at something or someone to get me where  I want to be. It's all just a dream that sleeps in my head.

Random thoughts like these are pitiful. You're giving the devil a field day. There's that place in your being built with the grace of the Almighty God. Only in that place where you can be untouchable and lovable. Only the love of God can nurture and protect that place in your heart.

I always go back to that place when no eyes and ears lend me...

"We Go From Glory To Glory..."

Encouraging yourself to get up early on a Saturday morning takes a good discipline. My flesh wants to make earthly excuses that maybe since we have an icy- weather temperature
that it's okay to miss or skip today's prayer time at our church this morning. I signed up for 
this commitment just like what I did with the 21- day Daniel Fast & the 31- day of Writing
500 Words and this Saturday-prayer fellowship should take more precedence. I have a lot of prayer requests to lay it on the altar--from my personal needs, my sons'needs, my entire family's
needs, my congregant's needs, and our nation's needs to unite for God's greater purpose.

There was a brief weak moment when I almost didn't go this morning but that would have
been a great loss on my end not to experience the fresh anointing of God's presence among brethren and sisters-in-Christ worshipping God through prayers. And it dawned on me the meaning behind the teachable event on the Biblical account of King David & Bathsheba.
I believe that if King David did not choose to stay home in Jerusalem and led the Israelite army
to fight other nations and kings, his infamous and forbidden affair with Bathsheba would not have happened. That just tells us that the devil is working day and night whom he can devour
and amidst our pauses, relaxation, and downtime, we have to make sure that we don't lose heart
to what God's appointed time and negates secular time. 
After our corporate prayer time this morning, a nice couple I've known for 2 months now asked
me, "How are the children in your classroom behaving at school?" Would you believe I hesitated
for a moment to proclaim God good plans for them? I just shrugged my shoulders like a sign
of desperation and come to think of it that I just came out praying for my special needs kids.
I realized that being human, how fast we invalidate the virtue and power of prayer as it happened to me. The right Biblical response should have been, "God is doing all things for their good
and that God continues to empower me with spiritual wisdom, patience, understanding and that God's
love for them will always prevail." Well, the first step is recognizing that I am a working progress vessel of God.
And that I will rise up behind moments of discouragement and that I will speak the truth
of what God says in His Holy Living Word not what the physical surrounding circumstances
are invoking to sway me around.
Thank You, Lord, for Today...

"The Sweet Victory In Writing for 31 Days..."

My commitment to writing for 31 days is finally over today. This is my final post for this challenge.
I am relieved that it is over. On the other hand, there's a sense of victory for not giving up. There were a few times when I was dozing off while typing on my keyboard and just skip writing for a day or two. Thank God, I persevered. I wanted to finish this race that felt like a marathon. Joyfully, I crossed the finished line.
Thanks to Jeff Goins who have been my writing coach and mentor for years now. I've read all his bestselling books in their entirety. He initiated this writing challenge to all who consider and call themselves a writer. It works. I have been participating in this challenge for three years in a row now. However, this year, I'm feeling more optimistic. My goal now is to write one or two posts a week.
Thank you guys for reading all my posts. My heart leaps with joy to see that my posts are well received across the board, internationally especially the nation of Israel. I hope and pray that I did you justice by relating to you my innermost personal views on matters that are important to me.
If I had impacted even one soul out of thousands of readers, that one person is enough reason for me to keep writing.
Writing is a breath of fresh air to me... Falling in love with words is undeniable. It's words that complete
my desires when no one is there to hear me say them. Words compensate my longing when oftentimes misunderstood and abandoned. It's words that I sing in a song when you're not there.
Words, when expressed in a written form so exclusively and passionately, reminds me that
I can never love anybody so intently without writing them to you...