"Writing To My Younger Self..."

What is so precious about being young once is the fact that you experienced & lived it in a different mindset. There's that kind of rambunctiousness in every young heart blessed enough to remember when you're old. The things I did in my younger self were always perpetuated by the standards shaped by family values. That means that there was always that fear in me to go against the right principles my folks endowed in my younger self.
So whenever I made a wrong choice and many wrong decisions in my younger self, it had to be that the outcomes are overwhelmingly destructive and disturbing. When I  think about it now that I'm aging faster than I expected, being young was a real gift to unwrap regardless of many undecisive decisions you made. 

I wish you weren't that rigid conforming to the ideals brought to you by the effects of reading books, magazines; listening to motivational speakers and music that just permeates your flesh. 
I wish that I wasn't so exclusive but a free-spirited soul who didn't pre-judge people outwardly.
I wish that I had the guts to cut off people who didn't deserve me. I tend to prolong relationships that could have ended much sooner. I have wasted a million moments that could have catapulted me to where I wanted to be. I wish that I had written in my journal non-stop even when I was angry and feeling void. I wish that I had been more precocious of a lot of things; more perceptive, objective and sharp instincts on how to handle uneventful circumstances. But through it all, I thought I had loved wholeheartedly without permission and apology. And that was wrong because not every desire you have need not be granted or followed. There should always be a distinction between fantasy and real commitment.

But listen that was my younger self. I don't need to be beating up on myself anymore on what could have been and what happened I already had forgiven myself...
My Northern Star is keeping me beyond my expectations. There may still be tears flowing gently down my face but unencumbered. Sometimes our dreams are stifled because we're hanging on the past. The past may be marvelous and ecstatic to tickle and might reignite a passion but today and your tomorrows, your future is filled with so much more no matter how old you are. And that's the truth.

What is possessing our heart, mind, soul, and spirit must be the only One that will never leave us and loves us and died for us so we may live with Him eternally forever and ever...His name is Jesus. He's all we ever need. I don't make false wishes anymore. Jesus is enough, more than sufficient. I may have many challenges and aches but the thought that he carries my burdens for me is Victory...

" A Good Friend Is More Precious Than Your Earthly Possessions..."

Tell Somebody Else Story is Today's Subject to write. Nothing is more inclined to this topic than paying a tribute to my very good friend Senaida. 
One of her best attributes to me is that she is a prayer warrior. She can pray in tongues for hours meaning praying in that heavenly language with the in-filling of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. 

It is a very humbling experience each time she prays for someone. She does it in her own personal prayer devotion time praying for people she doesn't even know them personally. She even has a way of connecting me to pray for these people that are not known to me. I do it for her as an obligation but as it gets more often, the praying for these people has become a joy in my prayer time. Not only that she has helped me more notorious in praying even when praying isn't answered but also this taught me how to persevere and not be conformed with wavering faith. No wonder our friendship is growing deeper in its root--God's foundation.

One late afternoon, I was waiting for one of my sons to help me carry a big bulky sofa to be put on the curbside of the street. This sofa needs to be picked up early in the morning so I was adamant that I might miss it. At that time, it started to drizzle and it was windy- cold. I called Senaida about it that nobody had shown up and I didn't actually insinuate for her to come but having a big heart as she has, she told me that she will come to help me even with the weather so fiercely cold.
So picture this: two women carrying, pushing and making stops as this thing is heavy even when you already take off the cushions. We were both laughing hilariously for we thought this is a man's job, not ours. We even looked around if we could ask a neighbor to help us but to no avail.

In moving that sofa, I realized that I will never forget that kind of compassion and a heart of gold that Senaida has. That will always be that indelible part of my life that even when she does things that infuriate me sometimes, I go back to that moment where she had proven her loyalty in our friendship.

She also has this giving spirit. When she buys somebody a gift, she will not only buy you one item but three items that she knows you love to have. For instance, she will always bless you with a spiritual book, a gift card of your favorite store and a well-chosen greeting card designed for you.
In that greeting card, you know that she took her time to write things that edify and encourage you to be better. 
Lastly, I give all the praise and the glory to God that gives us the gift of friendship...

"The Day Josh Leaves Home For College..."

One of my greatest fears came that day when I had to go with my son, Josh to his University Dorm.
I still remember that my mom, my dad were with me, my 4 other siblings, my niece, my brother-in-law and my youngest son, Calvin. You might be thinking, why so many people tagging in with the move. Where would Josh put his stuff when there's so many to take with him including desk lamps, hampers, luggage of clothes, computer chair and boxes of Anime comic books and just to mention a few.

My brother-in-law drove his pick up truck where Josh's college stuff and groceries were put in so my siblings and their immediate families can come. Everybody was excited about so many reasons. Josh was the very first grandson in the state of Texas to go to a university where he was eligible for a scholarship. There was no way for me to be able to send him to college with my one income as a single parent. 

The university where he was accepted was an hour and 20 minutes away from home. When we arrived there, I couldn't get my feet to get out of the car. I was nervous just like I was having an epiphany of my own first day of college which was nerve-wracking. My mom was the only one that was with me back then, yet I was comforted by her presence, support, and love. 
I could almost imagine how my son Josh was feeling at the time. I knew that he was looking forward to some kind of worthy independence and freedom to be on his own but maybe neglected to think decisively that with this kind of freedom comes responsibility and accountability. I was unsettled with that premise. However, I keep the faith and prayed more...

So, we all went inside the dorm on the second floor. When we got to his room we were very surprised to see his roommate still sleeping on his bed. We were kind almost whispering and really talking to a minimal voice so as not to wake him up. I don't know if the roommate knew by then that Josh was coming that day. He must have had gone out partying late that he wouldn't even buzz. Then my sister turned her eyes to the ceiling and we all gazed to the undergarments that were hanging there. Not a good sight and it sends the impression that this roommate may not be a good influence on Josh's freshman of college. So now, my agitation grew. What other speculations can a mother have with that sign...

After which we got all of Josh's stuff in place, we all went downstairs in this big receiving room where we could really talk and goodbye's for now with Josh. I hugged him tight and almost to tears that he would do the right thing when temptations come because they will come. Oh, God of Heaven and Earth, it was heartbreaking for me to leave him there without me by his side. However, I had to get a grip on the fact that our children will leave us sooner or later and that they have to make a life of their own hoping and praying that they would not depart from the Word of God...

"Writing Indelibly...I Hope"

It is the beginning of a new decade...Just to mention it (2020) rings such a different tune to me. Maybe I'm just being hopeful and expectant of what this beginning of a new decade brings forth into my life. There's this fresh endowment seeping through my veins on its way to my heart. I can only believe that God's outpouring of his Holy Spirit by the evidence of speaking in tongues will inhabit my soul. Only then that His anointing be as powerful as He promised in caveat to the giftings He gives me and yours...That is glorious and marvelous!

If I have to think about the last decade of my life, it was a merry-go-round in the sense that I allowed every remnant of every wrong choice and decision that hovers my thinking and I just couldn't reach the ceiling of tucking it out. But we have a good, good  Heavenly Father with an outstretched hand waiting for you and me to grasp it tightly never to let go. It reminded me of Matthew 18:3-6 (KJV) says, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever, therefore, shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. 
It took many tears, prayers, and faith for me to fully understand what Jesus had finished at Calvary Cross is an eternal gift if only I surrender it all. And I did. I no longer look behind my past. It has no power on me anymore. Thank God for His abounding grace. I receive it everyday no matter what my circumstances are.

So, I'm committing myself to a 21 Corporate Daniel Fast. It started the very first day of January. Our Pastor said that if we ever fall off the wagon, we be ready to come back up and not be discouraged. so Far, I'm doing good. It was hard for the first two days. I had headaches at night. I could tell I was having withdrawals from caffeine, sweets, and fried foods. I went "cold turkey."
It didn't bother me much about not networking, no social media, except writing for this blog. If I have to watch t.v. I only have ears and eyes for Cristian networks. I tell you, eating healthy and living right is very empowering. I'm getting better sleep, peace within me and more strength to do chores. You think it's the other way around that you become weak and sluggish for not eating what your flesh desires but feeding your body what you need to nurture its stamina is the right thing to do. It's just like draining out all the toxins out in your body and being replenished it with" wellspring stream of water that never dries up. "
Sometimes, we need to challenge ourselves to something that's not easily achievable and just ask God to help you get through it to which I know He will gladly do it.
I'm kind of sleepy right now. I don't know how long I will be able to come up with 500 words to finish this blogpost. For what its worth, I'm really happy that we're doing this 31 day writing challenge again at the beginning of the year.
 Well, I wish everybody a very Happy and a Prosperous 2020.

Happy New Year, 2020!

I & my good friend Senaida went to Destiny Church for a New Year's service tonight. This is our 4th year of celebrating it this way. It was packed. That made me happy to know that people still flock to be in the house of God.
The Praise & Worship Team was like a rainbow of talents. They sang songs that made the congregation participated and when they're finished, I know the pastor is already pumped to deliver the message. When the title of his message flashed to the big screen, "Dream, " I felt my spiritual rhythm alluding it. I told myself the title is too broad that it can't hit its mark that it's not going to illuminate people's dreams, whatever they may be. However, just as soon as I realized that I just put a limit in what God's anointing power to break through on the message, right there and then, I repented on that pre-judgment I just made. 
By the way, the Dream was just the prelude to what the context of the whole message. It is about continuing to dream, see the vision and let these come to pass. Your dream may not have yielded fruits and remained dry for a long time but tomorrow is another day to dream that it's going to come to pass. "Let it rain Lord...that the year 2020 is all about you putting your dreams in the crown of my head and heart. My dreams are made of flesh, I know that that's why I no longer believe on my dreams. What I want and need is to pursue your dreams and visions for my life. Let not my heart miss my calling or purpose for in there lies my triumph and victory in you...

I pray that life is better for everyone in 2020.

"Have A Very Blessed, Happy Thanksgiving"

Every 4th Thursday of November of each year, we celebrate Thanksgiving Day. This is the day when we consciously set aside everything that is not pleasing to the eyes of the Lord and just let your heart rejoice in thanking Him for everything that he has helped us come out stronger and lessons learned.

Thank You To All Of You that visit my page and read my thoughts even when you know that my words are lacking luster. 

God Bless and pray in agreement with me that Today is a great day for Family fellowships, reunions, and savoring Food in His Holy name, Jesus. I pray that every soul that is not in attendance at the family dining table because of distance, service-oath commitment like the Arm Forces Members, be with them Lord. And to those who had backslidden, the prodigal sons and daughters, may this be the day of salvation and let them come home.

Thank You God for who you are, "the light in the darkness." 

 Happy Happy Thanksgiving!

Remembering You With Gratitude...

I may never know the depth of your colors had it not been for Autumn...Leaves of your kind leave me breathless whether you're up there attached on a branch or more so scattered on the ground waiting to be put in someones's palm--that would be me!

Thank God for November month. I would be soon a year older. Nevertheless, thank you for the memories you brought me in my golden years...

Happy Happy First day of November!