The Gift of Closure...

Do we really get total closure especially from someone you've really loved since childhood? A resounding "no" would be the only answer.
How would you put an end to loving someone all your life? May be concentrate on his flaws and his many uneventful excuses that you know were superficial. Or even better: that you've realized you will always be under the covering of God's faithfulness ; and that He is not going to allow you to be that prodigal daughter that He loves unconditionally be lost any longer...
And though forgetting is hard, forgiving yourself is one great wisdom you may begin to adhere. Remember : Closure is not a conversation between the two of you and saying your goodbyes; not e-mailing each other and say," I'll always love you," (though it's true,  it doesn't cut the truth partially);  but real closure for me is  a spiritual and a personal decision.  You owe yourself that choice---to choose not to be in bondage and letting it all go.

Your blessings have just started pouring in...by doing the right thing and closing the gap. And you can "shake the dirt off your feet and move on." Stop chasing a dream that held you back for so long...Be kind to yourself and start building a new real dream. It's never too late to ascend from unmarked territory--to begin with. Have a grateful heart...everyone!

My Song & Yours...

I heard this song  midday yesterday while watching Today @ TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) I couldn't help but check Steven Curtis Chapman's music videos on you tube. Then I found the right image to project and share for my blog.

There are songs that  triggers nostalgia as of revisiting the past; also many songs that when you listen to them, they're for momentary entertainment but there are also songs that penetrate the chambers of your soul entreating you to forget your issues and just want to make you move past your guilt and insecurities and make a paradigm shift on your mindset. Just like this one...(Yours) Oh, that would be awesome if only I could make it through without a fight...a fight that would render me to the finish line!

As Jeff Goins says in his book "Wrecked" which I'm still reading, " Entering the pain of others can make us feel good, giving us a deep confidence about our place in the world, while doing work that doesn't feel good at all. In other words,  in our grief, we find purpose. In suffering, we find significance. And still, the pain goes on.
The intersection between these two contradictions is where we find our true selves."

In a way, we're all entangled, weaved into something greater than ourselves. I'm still praying for that relentless courage that would compel me to act beyond necessities and that will cause me to grow and live with my faith without wavering. And in the end I would love my heart to look back one more time and really see my journey without apology and regret and refine me once & for all.
Good Thursday everyone!

Today, My "Cocoa" Turns Seven...

Today looks like a very promising one... A very good morning! 
I promised myself to just spend the whole morning with Cocoa in the park then take her to PetSmart Grooming Store as a part of a birthday package.

This is a better park not only that it is a lot closer to home but also there are a lot more to see for your heart's content.

This is me & Cocoa after 3 laps. Two more rounds to go...

A kind soul has offered to take us a picture. 

A good reminder...that you may walk your dog but clean up after her/his "mess." We got that alright!

I thought this is still worth capturing...even a portion of some dry land is an evidence of scorching heat.

An adorable little girl reaching out to pet Cocoa.  And she came away to the field with that gracious smile.

Time to get out & play ball. Saturday mornings seem to be family outdoor time for many of us!

A place of retreat where children and their folks can enjoy the pleasure of water & the shade.

Recreation Center...Flags hoisted with pride.

@ PetSmart where I buy her special "treats" and "needs."

And sure, we did enjoy the morning. Taking pictures is always a highlight for me! Now I have to take my afternoon nap to have that kind of energy for the concert tonight. Two Christian bands are playing; For Kings & Country & Rat Walker. There's no doubt in my mind that they gonna rock the place for Jesus! And I'll be there with them singing to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords...Here &Out for Now

Happy First Day of August...

               I have been watching the Olympics 2012 slated in London since its premiere. What inclines me to watch is my deep appreciation for such drive, passion, discipline, and the physicality that athletes have to compete for a dream to come true. My heart is drawn to every compelling story that has made them tenacious and with relentless perseverance to be a part of something big as the Olympics. (My favorite events are volley ball, gymnastics, & swimming relays)
But at the end of the day, what do these athletes ponder upon the most? I hope and pray that in their journey of representing their country, there is a special ember in their hearts to connect with God, the One that can make things happen beyond  every dream. 
I am thankful Today even for the things I couldn't have and just keep believing through faith that God knows what's best for me & you.
Be thankful in all circumstances for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Happy Friday the 13th

Me, my sister-in-law Jolly and manang Cel @ home

My brother Jun and his wife, Jolly

In this day in age, many people still believe that Friday the 13 brings scarcity, nuances, and just a doomsday. 

For me, on the other hand, # 13 holds the most sentimental events in my life. My first born son, Josh was born on this special day...I became a mom, a mother that will always uphold and honor its highest standard---servitude!

The other very special event in my life happened last year; one that will forever etched in my heart. That 13th of May changed everything for me!

Today is another blessed Friday the 13th for the family. My sister-in-law, Jolly, who just arrived here( a month ago) in Texas from the Philippines got her driver's permit. Good for her! We should be on the look out though...when she's on the road.

So, once again, the date and the day don't correspond to anything feeble. It's about celebrating the infamous number...And I did by  cooking spaghetti & meatballs with Italian sausage, served with grated Parmesan  cheese and green salad sprinkled with Olessa olive oil. I think I did good for even putting "cinnabon" cinnamon Pillsbury rolls in the oven with Puerto Rican "pilon" coffee for the taking. The family loved the dish I prepared for them. Can't be Filipino dish all the time! That's what I always say to them...
And though my heart still awaits for something grand to happen, I'll leave that another day. Today, I celebrate you, my family, friends and God's touch of grace...

One of Summer's Eye Catchers...Flowers

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever...John Keats

My favorites to pick, gather and put them in a vase in front of my PC---so I can be reminded that "all is well that ends well."
I have a cluster of white tulips in my front yard. They just appear and bloom coincidentally in  late Spring; may be rise to the occasion only two times seasonally and stayed dormant the rest of the year. However, I never fail to gaze @ them with whispers of gratitude.
I love water lilies...I guess, because of the fact that they float daintily in the river banks, so exquisitely that you feel like touching them with so much endearment... The thing is, for me personally, water lilies need not to be domesticated but be left alone in their habitat, to be watched and adorned as they set forth!
Yellow daffodils...I put them on my top choice of flowers; not roses. That image capturing the most beautiful sight, the girl with "pigtails, "in illuminating red overalls, admiring what's in her hands is a total surrender of being in the moment. 
Looking at this image stirs my heart to be in retrospect--into remembrance! When I was about seven or eight years old up to 6th grade, I and my cousins and close friends and some schoolmates in the barrio (usually on Saturdays) walk up to the hills and valleys where everything you see says" freedom."
While my counterparts were running for fruit- bearing trees, and filling their bags with some other audible "stuff," I stay behind  gathering yellow daffodils and dandelions in clusters  and I didn't really care whether I fill up my bag with less "star apples, mangoes, tisa, guavas, sampalok, and many other rich variety of tropical fruits in the horizon. However, almost always that by the time we got home, my clustered daffodils and dandelions had already been withered. But that wasn't the end of them...When they're dried up, I put them in my books as earmarks. Gathering flowers is one of the best, earliest activities embedded in my memories to date. 
Those were happy childhood days, I may say...that helped me be sensitive, grateful and mindful of the gifts of Nature! Always...

My Lab/Border Collie...Tootsie

Midsummer of 2006 when I adopted her...She was just barely a year old. She was a "quick pick" from a dozen of kennels of large to small breed @ Petsmart Store. All of these"four-legged" dogs were all barking for attention to be picked at that time except Tootsie. I saw her wagging her tail, (still in a cage) not demanding I thought; so, I asked if I could take her for a walk around the store.
That "walk" translated to bringing her home that afternoon with the help of my son, Josh who actually encouraged me to adopt her.  His perspective reverberated wisdom: Josh said:" Mom, just pick Tootsie for his chance to be adopted is very slim."
 I look around  while"prospective owners" were all keenly interested to non-black dogs. Nobody even has gazed to Tootsie's corner. They all passed by-not a single step closer to her cage.
And I'm so happy they didn't take a closer look at my beautiful dog because she's mine with a story to tell..                                  

Hi...I'm Tootsie!
I remember walking endlessly under the rain looking scruffy, mischievous,and tired, scavenging for food for weeks and for a 7 month-old dog I should be indoors with a blanket and a Purina food to devour. So I thought and dreamed...
I believe I'm also a part of God's creation. Remember when Noah secured all the animals in pairs in the Ark? So, something to that reference happened. I was picked up by a Samaritan in a station wagon  and drove me to the Second Chance Shelter for dogs in the area. And I never knew how luck and blessings meshed because that's the beginning of all the good things to come. I am now in the best care and love of my "mom." Because of her, others look up to me now like I'm somebody special.

Being aware of Tootsie's lacking trust despite of everyday assurances of affection and providing good shelter is still an ongoing issue. But I know I'm gaining grounds to where one day all of her harsh beatings in the past( before Second Chance Shelter) while waiting for a home, be completely vanished. To this day, she's still very anti-social. She reverses to squirm when patted unannounced; still puts her kernels of dry food  in a corner where it's safe for her to eat them. She easily gets irritated and doesn't know how to play with toys. Instead, she chews on my outside corner plastic "sidings," paper towels and weeds/grass. I tried putting her on classes training for overcoming fears but that also didn't work. But despite of the irrelevance of her ways, she gets me to come home and assure her that she'll never be on the street again. Tootsie is here to stay with me for life...